When we were in college, we were separated by two time zones, cultures, and seriously busy schedules. On long weekends, I would fly out to his college to visit. I did this 10 times in 3 years. It was an expensive choice, but one we made together. One one of my trips, we attended church with his sponsor family. Already, I knew that I wanted to marry him. Already, we were exclusive and talking about rings. In fact, later that weekend, we would go to several jewelers to design one. There wasn’t much wiggle room in my brain or heart as to where this guy and I were headed: down. the. aisle.
Any doubt was erased just before the blessing of the gifts when this parish chose to have the children come to the front of the church for a blessing by the deacon and/or priest. The family we were with had four children under the age of 6. When called to the alter, Hubs didn’t blink. He didn’t question. He took the baby that he was already holding, along with the three others, and guided them BY HIMSELF to receive their blessings. They followed his guidance without question. Upon return, the eldest child exclaimed, “DUDE! I just got BLESSED!” and Hubs gave him a huge high five. “That’s right Big Guy! Way to GO!” he replied. The girls got their “fives”, and the baby grabbed hold of Hubs’ finger. He didn’t know I was watching, or if he did, he didn’t let on. He didn’t do it for anyone else or for show. It’s just who he was, and who he still is.
It was then that I knew I was done. Door closed. Foot down. All in. Luckily, so was he. Nine years later, two kids of our own, living in our fourth city as a married couple, we finally are able to have our nights and weekends together. He traveled over 265 days in the past 18 months, and now will be home on nights and weekends. It will be a huge transition to figure out co-parenting, but I know that I’ve made the right choice in partner. My hope for my kiddos is that they may find someone who will love both them and their children the way that Hubs and I do. I whole-heartedly pray that we may be the example to our children that our parents were to us. We aren’t perfect. We have our bumps, and lose our patience sometimes. We figure it out as it goes along, and the kids change the game so often that this is never going to be a job completed. We just stand together, hold our breath, slow down, take it one step at a time, keep balance of responsibility to privilege, remind one another to give hugs and share, and play nice. Oh yea, and make sure the kids do the same. Happy Father’s Day, Hubs.
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