- Walt Disney
This week was ::ahem:: interesting. There are some things that we just cannot teach to our children. They have to satisfy their own curiosity with a hands-on approach. No matter what we do, or how careful we are, they will come across a situation that involves curiosity and mischief, that we do not expect. This week, two of those situations occurred.
The first involved the buttons. Girl was put to bed for the night, and was evading the end of her day in every way she could. “Can I have a drink?” “I don’t like the dark.” “What was that noise?!” “I have to pee.” … The list was frustratingly endless. We finally relented in giving her a book and saying that she may look at it, but not leave her room. After what seemed like two hundred attempts at leaving her room, she went quiet. I thought VICTORY! It was, after all, 9:30, and she had been to school that day. She must be tired, right? NOPE. She was playing with the small button collection she kept in her room. It was once part of my craft closet, but she liked them, and figured her brother couldn’t touch them there. I didn’t see the harm, until this week…
I was sitting at my computer, when I heard her door open. My heart sank, and I prepared to do battle with the one that wouldn’t go to sleep. That’s when I heard a little tiny voice say, “Mom, I think we have a really big problem.”
Uh, oh. “What’s wrong, [Girl]?” I said, impatiently.
“Ummm, I stuck two buttons up my nose and I can’t get them out. It is really starting to hurt.”
I jumped out of my chair and ran for tweezers. The little buggers didn’t want to come out! Through a long series of blowing, a call by Hubs to the pediatrician in case we needed to go to the ER, and a handful of creativity, Girl’s nose was relieved of the buttons. She was relieved to know she didn’t have to go to the hospital, and simply asked to go to bed once her nose was a button-free zone. LMAO. I did not expect a button-nose extraction emergency that night, and Girl CERTAINLY did not expect the outcome of her experiment to end that way either.
Not to be outdone by his sister, Boy had a curious-catastrophe this week too! Due to Girl’s pre-school pick-up time, which occurs smack dab in the middle of our old nap time, we are attempting to make Boy’s nap earlier. This transition has not been going as smoothly as one would hope. He has taken to sleeping directly on the other side of the door, and throwing a riot before he falls asleep in protest to the new schedule. I thought we were coming around a bend this week, when one day he got really quiet. I thought, SCORE! He is ASLEEP! Someday I will learn what they always say about quiet children… That nothing good can come of them. Anyhow, when I went to get Boy for the drive to retrieve Girl, I expected to wake him up. Instead, I found him in his room PLAYING WITH THE TUB OF VASELINE THAT I KEPT ON THE SHELF IN HIS CLOSET! I didn’t know he could reach that shelf. I didn’t know he could open the Vaseline. I also didn’t realize that he would use that Vaseline to paint on the wall, and coat himself in a smooth shimmering coat of the stuff! Part of me laughed internally, while a little piece of me swore, and another piece cried. We were already running late, so I just grabbed my camera, snapped 4 shots (one of which you see above), took the towel you see balled up by his foot and wiped off some of the slick on his head and shoulders, threw him in the car, and went to get Girl. When she got in the car, she looked at Boy, then at me, and asked, “Why does [Boy] smell funny? What’s with his hair? Mom, is he shiny?!” LMAO. We ran home and began the process of washing off my lubed up son. FYI: There is nothing you can do about Vaseline on a person to get it off once it is applied two inches deep on hairy areas. We have had to wash his hair about 9 times with Dawn to get it all out. It came off the wall with Dawn, baby wipes, and lemon juice. You have to wait it out. In the mean time, I drove around with a little boy that looked like he was either unwashed or attempting a strange over-gelled guido look that smelled vaguely of Vaseline. Ah, curiosity. You keep me on my toes. Good lessons had by all this week.
I learned to pay more attention, to keep dangerous objects and substances even HIGHER on shelves away from the littles, and to not trust the silence. I am fairly sure that I’m going to learn these lessons over and over for the rest of my parenting career. But now I know: buttons + butt creams + my kids = hilarious parenting emergencies + stories that will live on for years to come .
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