10 Things Training Dogs Taught ME (Part 1)

Lex Taken by KTB 5 12 2008

1. Everyone’s goals are different. Since couldn’t I knew what what possible, I was an idealist. I figured everyone would just want the maximum possible result out of their dog. In contrast, some of my clients just wanted a dog who didn’t sniff their crotch or jump on Gramma. Some of them were THRILLED with a dog that no longer hurt their shoulder by pulling on walks, but care less about the sit/stay command. It made me frustrated to think that there was more that the dog could do, but the owner wasn’t willing to work on it with me. Then I figured it out. I’d helped them accomplish THEIR goals. My goals were irrelevant. Forcing the client to learn what I wanted didn’t make them any happier, and the dog generally didn’t retain it, because the owner didn’t keep using it in their lives. Other times, people were so surprised by the results achieved that they broadened their expectations. Many of my clients who gave me glowing references and/or sent friends my way, were those that had adjusted their goals after the initial planning session. This wouldn’t have been possible without the open mind of both myself and the individuals that I was hired to train.

2. Listen. You just might learn something. Asking someone to teach you something requires an element of vulnerability. One must admit they do not know everything in order to obtain that information that we do not already possess. This makes many people nervous. I most certainly spent most of my life being one of them. I would talk and talk and talk to fill up space rather than listen to people and achieve greater success through the gaining of their knowledge. Clients like this made me upset, because they could have achieved their goals if only they’d listened with an open mind, and just given our methods a try. (BTW, when I was a client I was the WORST at this. I made excuses for everything my dog and I did, and it took me several lessons to finally listen. Once I stopped talking, closed my mouth, opened my ears and more importantly my mind, both my dog and I grew by leaps and bounds. I have my trainer and friend A to thank for the patience it took to wait for me to come around, and then to repeat what she’d already said so that I could become the trainer and person I am now…) Sometimes listening to someone means listening to yourself, and asking for help when you need it. If I don’t know something, I’m going to ask now. If I can’t do something, I am going to ask for help (look for upcoming posts on outsourcing)… It’s not easy for me because I treasure my independence, but sometimes my independence is crushed by my pride and help is more freeing than I realized.

3. Consistency does not make you a control freak. Ritualized lives reduce stress and create bonds between those who perform them together. Help yourself and your dog to learn what the other is expecting by doing things the same way most of the time. You unconsciously do anyway. Pay attention. The things your dog already knows, and the actions that he/she anticipates, are those that you repeat. You are only a control freak if you lack the flexibility to adjust when life requires you to do so. Make changes slowly. Your dog and your sanity will remain in tact if you don’t change everything all at once.

4. Expectations are lived up to, for the most part, but stereotypes are often unfair. If you expect your coworkers to walk all over you, they will. If you expect your partner to listen, they will. If you expect your dog to misbehave, they will. Your expectations motivate you to act in a certain way, which creates responses within the world around you. Be mindful of how your destiny is formed by your unconscious. Beware of stereotypes (Rottweilers are NOT all aggressive. I own one, and have trained a few. Most of them are babies. Several that I know are sissies… Pit Bulls are NOT all mean or ignorant. Some of them are the sweetest and most intelligent dogs I’ve worked with to date. Some are the fastest learners that I have encountered…). People are the same. Alternately, be careful to not push anyone (canine or human) to become their stereotypes through your actions.

5. Mental and physical burns are both required on a daily basis for both your animal and your sanity. If you do not work your body and mind both in the same day, you will eventually become depressed, tired, or stressed. Same goes for your dog. They need to expend their energy or they will become frustrated and use it in negative ways (destruction, barking, negative behaviors…). Likely, you are the same way. Without both physical (exercise) and mental energy releases, you will likely become frustrated, stressed, and angry. Do it, even if you don’t like it, and you will be happier.