I’m sorry. I’m SO sorry… Does anyone else find themselves apologizing all the time? I find myself expressing myself only to recant with a big ‘ol “I’m sorry” for having an opinion. I also find myself often saying “I’m sorry” for the behavior of my children when people seem to be irritated by them. I get very nervous that I’m being judged and generally cover myself six ways to Sunday to make sure that everyone, to the best of my knowledge, is happy with me and my family. On my recent trip to NH, I was talking to my mother about this and she had some great words for me… “Kate, if you’re worrying about what people think of what you say all the time you have two choices. You can simply speak less, or you can decide to let people have their own opinion and keep on sharing yours. Personally, I like to talk. People can take it or leave it. I like what you say, and how you say it… But it’s up to you.”
Mom’s right. Isn’t she most always?! I’m a talker. I will consider what I say before I say it a little better, which may reduce my talking by a little bit, but other than that people can make their own decision. I don’t agree with everything others say, so why would they ever agree with all that I have to say?! Now I’m not going to condone my use of curse words or speaking more than listening. Both of those things need work… But I’m not going to say that I’m sorry for my opinion anymore. What do you all say when people disagree with you or you’ve accidentally put your foot in your mouth? I am going for the honest route and saying “maybe I shouldn’t have said that” or “that’s a new way of looking at it”…
As for apologizing for my kids? Sometimes I’m going to have to continue doing that to keep the peace. I guess the difference is that I will no longer allow myself to feel super guilty over it. I can’t control their mouths or behavior every minute of every day. I can’t predict every situation and every reaction. Sometimes the kids will act out in ways we don’t understand. I will deal with each given situation as it comes, discipline when required, and let my kids grow at their own paces. Kids don’t know better, and if people can’t realize that, it’s not my problem it’s theirs.
