I was watching Girl walk around the house dragging four or five toys that she deemed super important to have with her and I got to thinking. I know for her these items (generally speaking a doll named “baby”, a matchbox car, a small ball, and 2 rotating randoms) offer her a sense of security. She literally cries her eyes out when she realizes she has forgotten one and then hugs it to death when she gets it back. I’m glad she can calm herself and know that she is safe, but I wish she could settle on say two toys that were standardized. A baby and a woobie would be fine with me. If she did, I’d know what to bring along on our journeys. I guess she just isn’t there yet.

As I watched her, I realized that we all do the “stuff for security” dance in a lot of ways for our whole lives. Everyone has their own “doll” and “ball”. For me? My Blackberry needs to be in arms reach. It’s my connection to the outside world, and I lean on it heavily. I should work on not needing it so badly.

The internet is a necessity too. Try shutting it off in a college situation and you’re going to have a riot! In my life, I may not ever touch the internet (via my laptop) on a given day, but deny me the possibility and you’re going to have me stressed out.

I also need to have my animals around me to make me feel at home. I may not need as many as I have (5), but I do feel as though a house is not a home for ME unless it has a furry heartbeat in it.

This is why we carry purses ladies. We need to tote our security items. Whatever makes us feel like we can make it through whatever life is going to throw at us once we go out needs to be in this bag. I don’t carry a personal purse, but I do carry a collective diaper bag with my and my kids’ necessities in it.

Food, alcohol, drugs, toys, cars, animals, whatever… We all have our security items. Why certain items gain the power to become dependencies, I don’t know. Why we choose one thing over another is both conscious and unconscious. We know that our doll, blanket, car, Blackberry, or whatever won’t save us in emergency situations… But they will sure make us feel better won’t they?

The opposite of this principle is also true for me. Once my life has changed and an item is in my environment but no longer necessary, it becomes clutter. Clutter stresses the snot out of me. I need to find my stuff, and this other junk gets in the way. That’s why I’m constantly cleaning out my environment. I donate or sell things when they’re no longer required.

I don’t know about you, but especially in the new economy, I am trying to seriously consider what I own lately. Whether its purchasing items, asking for them on my Christmas list, or just looking at the things around me, I am trying my best to only surround myself with items that I love and/or are necessary for me to feel secure. I wish I’d started this a while ago, because I would have saved money on some non-essentials.

I suppose this can be applied to Christmas presents. FLYLady talks about giving gifts that aren’t clutter to help our friends to stay closer to their most comfortable in their own lives. I’m trying this year to give only gifts that friends can use up, enjoy, use continually, experience, gift certificates, or otherwise helpful items. No knicknacks this year from Kate… Am I the only one who thinks about this stuff?

What about you? What do you carry that is your security stuff? What do you have that’s now become stressful?