So I was thinking about that old drinking game, Never Have I Ever. If you’ve never played, it goes something like this: Someone starts by making a Never Have I Ever statement (ie: Never Have I Ever Cheated on a Test.) (That’s tame- generally this game can run into the gutter pretty quick…) If the statement is true for you, you’ve never done it, you don’t have to drink. Everyone else has to take a shot. You can play the reverse way (if it’s true – drink, if not true – abstain), but in general there isn’t enough alcohol supply in college to operate it this way. It would take too long for people to feel their booze.

Anyhow, how about we switch up this game for my modern situation. How about we use the list of things we always said that we’d never do as our statements, and see how fast we get buzzed.

Here, I’ll start you off with a few:

Never Will I Ever Let My Kid Scream In The Store

Never Will I Ever Let My Kid Get Away With Something Like (Fill in with any number of ridiculously not-worthy-of-the-argument-behaviors.)

Never Will I Ever Let My Kid Have Ice Cream For Dinner

Never Will I Ever Let My Kid Get Away With Being Bossy

Never Will I Ever Let My Parents Spoil My Child Rotten

Never Will I Ever Compare My Kid To My Friend’s Kid

Never Will I Ever Say What My Mother Said To Me A Million Times To My Child

Never Will I Ever Let My Kid Run Circles Around Me In Target, Just To Keep Them Near My Cart.

Never Will I Ever Stand Beside My Child While They Throw a Super Colossal Fit in the Mall, Waiting For Them To Finish.

Never Will I Ever Stand In My Jammies at 3AM Singing “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” with Tears in My Eyes Bouncing a Teething Baby Praying They’ll Fall Asleep.

Never Will I Ever Fall Asleep With My Shoes On at 2PM Because I Finally Got Both Kids To Nap (I Will Use That Time for Productivity… Ya. Right.)

Never Will I Ever Let My Kid Wear Their Halloween Costume EVERYWHERE THEY GO – Store – School – Church – EVERYWHERE for two weeks surrounding the holiday.

Never Will I Ever Let My Kid Pick Out Their Own Clothes For School, That Totally Don’t Match, Put Them On The Child and Drop Her Off Without Thinking Twice.

Never Will I Ever Let My Kid Watch A Full Hour of Einsteins While Sitting On A Bed That I Am Sleeping In, Just to Get An Extra Hour of Sleep.

Never Will I Ever Let My Kid Sleep In My Bed With Me

Some of these were serious things that I had my foot down about back when, that now are fond memories. Some of them just aren’t worth the argument. Some of them are just a way to survive.

Anyone else feeling it yet? I’m a little toasty. Oh wait. I’m a nursing mother. I’m drinking milk. Maybe I’m just so tired that I feel drunk right now anyway? Maybe that’s it. Either way… I’m gonna go lie down. You guys keep playing without me, and tell me all about what I missed in the morning. Good Times. 🙂

(Anyone have a good Never Will I Ever Statement that totally turned around once you had kids?!)