I have often wondered what goes through my son’s mind on any given day. This morning, it looked like it may have gone something like this:
0730: I hear my sister. She’s up. Why am I not out of my crib yet? I think I pooped. Yep, I stink. On my goodness it’s unbearable. Oh the horror! Time to scream.
0745: Diaper changed. Play peekaboo, Ma! I love it when you play peekaboo. You look so stupid I can’t help but laugh! Oh my goodness. Tickles, too?! This is the best morning EVER! Now my stomach is an immediate concern. Scream again.
0800: Food. Oh good. She’s bringing me the little donut cereal again. Don’t skimp on the milk, Ma. I can’t get this in my mouth fast enough. Shovel faster. These darn hands don’t work right. I’m sticking my face in the bowl.
0900: Getting carried to my room. Naked time. Time to make a break for it. Clothes are for sissies! Those ones are covered in acid! Can’t you see they’re killing me?! Oh wait. No. This is cotton and fleece. This is comfortable. Where is my sister? There she is. Mom’s funny. Giggle. I farted. That’s hilarious. Laugh harder.
0930: Carried to car. Watching sister take forever to put on her shoes. Even I could do it faster than that. Where is my cup? I’m hungry again. Where are we going? Fine. I will sit in my car seat, but only if you give me the cup you brought downstairs.
0945: I don’t know what is wrong. Mom’s leaving me in the gym nursery again. Doesn’t she love me? Panic! Maybe if I cry she’ll come back. Let me try screaming. OK. Time for the big guns. Slamming my head on the floor. That will show them. Oh good! The lady called Mom back. Wait. Mom’s not happy. Thanks for the pacifier, but why are you leaving again?! Oh man. I’m gonna panic. I’m gonna… I’m gonna… zzzzzzzz……
[Insert hour and fifteen minute nap at the gym – negating any possibility of my mother getting a break later.]
1200: Mom’s back. Why’d she wake me up?! The nursery is closing? Who cares! I was napping. I’m not happy. I seem to smell too. But hey, Mom’s back. Snuggle in for the walk to the car. Car seat again?! Are you KIDDING? Oh! There’s that cup I forgot about. Sipping warm water… yuck. Lets see how far I can launch this into the back of the van. Half way! Impressive!
1230: Home after lunch playing in the dog water fountain. This thing is awesome. I can splash water all the way up the wall! Check this out, Sis! I’m wet all over, including in my pants. Why not! No. No. No. Don’t pick me up. Don’t pick me up. Why do you look stressed, Mom? It’s water. Water is awesome! Flash her a gummy grin, she loves those. See. She’s happy now.
0100: I’m achey and my gums hurt. I’m so cranky that I’m annoying myself. Someone put me out of my misery! Oh thank goodness. Mom to the rescue. A pacifier and a woobie (lovey). Mom always knows just the right thing. There’s my noise machine giraffe…. It sounds so good. I love that white noise. It makes me sleepy and snuggly. Thanks Mom, you’re the beszzzzzzzzz…..
Other highlights that seem to have been great ideas for Boy in the past week:
- Bathing in strawberry yogurt while fully clothed. He found it because Girl left it on my night stand. Your guess is as good as mine why she left it there. Boy rubbed it all over his face, hair, and clothes in the two minutes I was getting Girl dressed. I didn’t have time to change him before going to a going away luncheon at my husband’s squadron, so he went covered in yogurt.
- Putting his sister’s magnets in the toilet. Fridge magnets. Thank goodness I caught it before he flushed.
- Getting anyone and everyone to look at him, flashing a smile, and knowing that he has them in the palm of his hand.
This is not a post complaining about my one year old being a one year old, nor my boy being a boy. This little guy is awesome. I love the stuffing out of him. As anyone can tell you, having two under three years old is a complete adventure. It’s in the laughter attached to moments like the ones I described in this post that keep me going. A sense of humor is not optional in the least when you have little ones. I can promise you that life with kids isn’t going to be perfect, but it certainly is going to be entertaining.
Finian Road Image and Design (Shelley is awesome!)