Today I had a dawning realization… There is no Mother of the Year Trophy. No one is videotaping my life for a reality tv in front of a million viewers. There is no one that’s going to jump out and say “I KNEW IT!” when my house is messy or my daughter has a fit in the store. It happens. That’s life! So in lieu of my trophy, I am going to give myself permission to relax. There is an amazing amount of guilt associated with mommy-hood… Many of the moms I know have mentioned guilt related to (but not limited to): frustration with toddler confusion, wanting to walk away and say “whose kid is that?!” in the store when they start to scream, cheering when bedtime or naptime comes around, and/or any number of mishaps that maybe wouldn’t have happened if we were watching just a little bit closer… But here’s what I have had to learn over and over: we are PARENTS, not SUPERHEROES. Our kids are CHILDREN. They are going to make mistakes. It’s how they grow. Same for us. If we did everything perfectly the first time, we would teach our kids that there is no reason to ever make a mistake… That would hinder their growth… It’s not easy to laugh everyday when things get frustrating (ie when WickedGirl may or may not have dumped a fifth of a bag of Goldfish on the carpet today and then “helped” by grinding them into the carpet so that they could be “all gone” OR when you put aside a day to do laundry and dishes only to have the plumber shut the house’s water off at the street – which also may or may not have happened to me today.). Sometimes the world isn’t going to rotate around us. Sometimes our kiddos will be kids! Sometimes they will have blowouts and runny noses. It is all part of the gig. Give yourself permission to say “today was not my day”. I often tell my mother “today was not a Trophy day”… Not many of them are. When you have a good one? PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK. Dance a little. When you have a bad day, and it’s ending, dance anyway. Say, “TAKE THAT DAY I SURVIVED!”
Look back. There must have been SOME good that happened today. My house may not be perfectly clean today. There may be a hole in the ceiling from on-going repairs. My daughters hair may be tangled, and she may be rebelling against potty training. The fridge may need me to take a trip to the store. My husband may have just announced that he is leaving for a few days while I am 8 months pregnant and his parents are coming into town. SO WHAT! I survived. WickedGirl kicked AND paddled at swim lessons today, even though we were late due to traffic. She took two naps today (short ones) that gave me a break from the chaos. I will admit I slept too. My husband brought home dinner from the food store so that I didn’t have to cook. The bee sting on my daughter’s face from the other day is barely noticeable. The landlord is handling the contractors, plumbers, and the BILLS for the repairs that have to take place on my house… Ok fine, so maybe today was a good day.
You know what? Maybe parents really are bionic. Maybe our superpower is survival. Since there is no trophy, I offer to my favorite survivors a big ol’ margarita. CHEERS! (A virgin for me please… Trophy or not – Tequila during pregnancy isn’t exactly an trophy-winning move.) There is also no trophy for early blog posts, so this one is going up late… At least it was on the right day, no?!
